Sponsor |  ferretsgames | Mar 31, 7:03am | Mahatma Ghandi walked barefoot everywhere, to the point that the soles of his feet became quite thick and hard.
Being a very spiritual person, he ate very little, and often fasted. As a result, he was quite thin and frail.
Furthermore, due to his diet, he ended up with very bad breath.
He came to be known as a....
"Super callused fragile mystic plagued with halitosis." |
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Sponsor | | kitakami | Mar 31, 10:04am | A group of chess enthusiasts checked into a hotel and were standing in the lobby discussing their recent tournament victories.
After an hour, the manager came out of the office and asked them to disperse.
"But why?" they asked, as they moved off.
"Because," he said, "I can't stand chess nuts boasting in an open foyer." |
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Sponsor | | LightChaser | Mar 31, 10:06am | | A doctor made it his regular habit to stop off at a bar for a hazelnut daiquiri on his way home. The bartender knew of his habit, and would always have the drink waiting at precisely 5:03 p.m. One afternoon, as the end of the workday approached, the bartender was dismayed to find he was out of hazelnut extract. Thinking quickly, he threw together a daiquiri made with hickory nuts and set it on the bar. The doctor came in at his regular time, took one sip of the drink and exclaimed, "This isn't a hazelnut daiquiri!" "No, I'm sorry," replied the bartender, "it's a hickory daiquiri, doc." |
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Sponsor | | kitakami | Mar 31, 10:09am | There was a man who entered a local newspaper's pun contest.
He sent in ten different puns, in the hope that at least one of the puns would win.
Unfortunately, no pun in ten did. |
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Sponsor | | ferretsgames | Apr 9, 11:10am | | Show me a piano falling down a mine shaft and I'll show you A-flat miner. |
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Sponsor | | kitakami | Apr 10, 9:42am | King Ozymandias of Assyria was running low on cash after years of war with the Hittites. His last great possession was the Star of the Euphrates, the most valuable diamond in the ancient world. Desperate, he went to Croesus, the pawnbroker, to ask for a loan.
Croesus said, "I'll give you 100,000 dinars for it."
"But I paid a million dinars for it," the King protested. "Don't you know who I am? I am the king!"
Croesus replied, "When you wish to pawn a Star, makes no difference who you are." |
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|  MySofia | Apr 19, 10:00pm | When she saw her first strands of gray hair, she thought she'd dye.
Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead to know basis.
Santa's helpers are subordinate clauses. |
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Sponsor | | kitakami | May 4, 4:12am | A prisoner's favorite punctuation mark is the period. It marks the end of his sentence.
A lingerie thief gave a police officer the slip.
A sign at a cemetery reads, 'No Trespassing, Violators Will Face Grave Charges'.
He threw jello at his wife, who had him arrested for carrying a congealed weapon. |
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Sponsor | | ferretsgames | May 4, 2:19pm | Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into a lens grinder and made a spectacle of himself?
Doctors tell us there are over seven million people who are overweight. These, of course, are only round figures.
What is the purpose of reindeer? It makes the grass grow, sweetie. |
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| | clayfeet | May 12, 1:40pm | what do you call a man who falls into a giant meat grinder?
Chuck |
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